Perinatologist Appointment
This was to go over my history and to find out if we should ever try and have children again. The dr that I met with was wonderful, she was very thorough and is ordering a bunch of tests - blood work to check my clotting which has been an issue in the past and in April clotting in women (or lack there of) was shown to have a direct correlation with pre-e, 24-hour urine to check my kidney function to make sure there are no kidney issues due to continued high bp, checking for anemia, an ultrasound to rule out fybroids which could be the cause of my hemmoraghing while on my period.

The appointment went pretty well. She said that while she wouldn't recommend against getting pregnant again, I would definitely be high risk and would most likely have complications and face hospitalized bed rest. She said that as long as I decide before I'm 35 she'd be fine with it. She said there would be about a 25% chance of a reoccurence of pre-e due to the extent of it the first time and the current high bp. I still really think that we'll just stick with the family size we have, but at least I don't have to be scared if I think I may be pregnant.

We talked about everything that took place with Justin and I told her that I really had no idea how bad it got. She said that I never had issues with my platelettes which would have been a sign of Hellp syndrome so I never made it to that point but I did have the bp, protein, and elevated liver enzymes (72), and upper right quadrant pain at the time of delivery. She said that if there had ever been a question in my mind as to whether or not Justin should have been delivered when he was, to erase it because she would have delivered him at the exact same point that they did. That was very reassuring.

So...that was about it. It was an interesting appointment and I don't know that it changed my views on anything but at least it's out there. I know that Keith is adamant that he doesn't want more kids and if we were to try it wouldn't be until Justin is in school so that I could increase my chances of not being admitted to the hospital.

My first Blog!
Mood:  not sure
So...I caved and decided to start a blog! I've never been the "journaly" type so we'll see how this goes!

I was having a great day until it came time for "puppy preschool" and then Kota decided that he had other ideas for me and turned in to a monster at class tonight. It ended well enough and now he's laying at my feet like a good dog should.

Tomorrow will be a day of mixed emotions. I have an appointment with perinatology, at the same hospital that Justin was born at. My gyn decided that he wanted me to consult with the peri dept and discuss whether or not I'm able to have more children. Obviously I'm able, it's just whether or not it's a good idea. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm scared. I've convinced myself that we don't need more kids, that I don't want more kids, that Justin is plenty and that adding another would be a disservice to all of us in our happy little family. I'm terrified that they'll give me the green light and then I'll question my decision. I'm afraid that I'll get the "baby urge" even though my heart tells me that I truly don't need or want another child. It's never been an issue before, I assumed that having more wasn't a good idea and never gave it a second thought, now I may be able to give it a second thought, and I'm afraid that I will! If there was a crystal ball that could say "You will have a smooth pregnancy, no morning sickness, no pre-e, no preemie, you'll survive, your baby will survive, Justin will be an amazing big brother, you'll have a girl..." Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way! I'm hoping and praying that I go in and they say that it wouldn't be in my best interests to have another child, then my decision would be made and there would be no issues.

Justin had a good day today. The spitting is getting under control with the threat of hot sauce, I only had to do that once! Two poopy diapers today, one at nap and one at bedtime - it sure would be nice if he would start using the potty more!!! He's all consumed with birthdays now, he went to 2 parties this weekend and now he keeps asking when his party will be! Too cute! I'm thinking we'll do a Rescue Heroes party but I'm sure that will change 20 times by then! Tomorrow is my first day helping in Justin's class. Should be interesting to see how he does with me there all day. Once today he told me that he didn't want me to stay - that's a far cry from the boy who has been running to the house when we get close to the church! Maybe he's turning a corner!